Ah, Spain: a country of passionate flamenco, mouthwatering paella, and siestas under the sun. But, let’s flip the tortilla and humorously consider why you absolutely should not visit this terrible, horrible, no good, (actually amazing) place.
10 Reasons Why You Should Never Visit Spain
1. The Sun in Spain Could Unfairly Raise Your Standards for Good Weather
Why on earth would you want to spoil yourself with Spain’s relentless sunshine and clear blue skies? You’ll never be able to settle for less again.
2. The Spanish Siesta Might Permanently Ruin Your Productivity
Be warned: the restful Spanish siesta can be highly addictive, potentially leaving you unable to cope with a non-napping lifestyle. Proceed with caution.
3. Spanish Tapas Will Spoil Your Appetite for Mediocre Food Forever
The abundant flavors of Spanish tapas could tragically render your local fast food joints tasteless. Who would want such a culinary awakening?
4. Spanish Festivals Are Too Much Fun – It’s Outrageous
Brace yourself: the incessant fun and vibrant festivals Spain offers are relentless. Can you handle the joy of La Tomatina or the thrill of Fallas?
5. The Astounding Beauty of Spanish Cities Sets an Unrealistic Standard for Aesthetics
Confronted with the majestic architectural beauty in Spain, like Gaudí’s masterpieces, you might find yourself forever dissatisfied with less.
6. Spaniards’ Hospitality Is Almost Suspiciously Generous
You’ll have to endure unsolicited kindness, invitations to local events, and joyful interactions. How terribly welcoming!
7. Spain’s Endless Beautiful Beaches Could Cause Choice Paralysis
With so much stunning coastline to choose from, the biggest threat you’ll face in Spain is indecision. Too many perfect beach days—how will you cope?
8. Spain’s Plethora of Languages Might Expand Your Horizons More Than You’d Like
Prepare yourself for the cultural challenge of navigating not one but several languages like Spanish, Catalan, and Basque. It’s a multicultural onslaught.
9. Spain’s Rich Historical Landmarks Can Be Overwhelmingly Educational
The profound layers of history found in places like the Alhambra are likely to inflict you with knowledge and awe—sometimes simultaneously.
10. The Never-Ending Spanish Fiesta Will Make Your Hometown Seem Dull in Comparison
The late-night dinners and street fiestas might just ruin your taste for quiet evenings at home. You’ve been warned about Spain’s infectious zest for life.
Remember to take this article in the spirit it’s intended—a playful and loving jab at all the incredible experiences that make Spain such a magnetic destination.